The Mystery of Anime Hair

First off, let me make myself clear. I'm not talking about pubes. Japanese people don't typically shave their groinal regions so if you want to look like the Lion King down there, you're on your own.

How would I know you ask?

Um... I’ve heard rumors about Japanese porn.

Not that I would ever watch Japanese porn.

Or any porn for that matter, that’s just absurd!

But um... yeah, that's what I heard...

So about that anime hair!!!

It's a unique look. And although it may look cool on Tidus and Yuna, that doesn't necessarily mean it'll look good on you, especially if you do it wrong. We're real people. Well at least I am. For all I know, you readers could be cybernetic beings sent back to our time to slap and tickle underaged Japanese school girls at love hotels. But for those of you who aren’t perverted Terminators from the future, it would be hard to mimic the anime hairstyle. So to prevent you from looking like a human peacock, I'm going to tell you how to get that anime hair you’ve always wanted.

Straight up, here's the low down. If you're not a hair stylist, related to a stylist, sleeping with a stylist, or the artist formerly known as a stylist, it's going to cost you a pretty penny to get your hair done up this way. In Japan, both men and women spend a significant amount of time and money getting what they feel to be the most up to date hair style. So if you don't have the hook up, be ready to spend some cash.

Now that that's out of the way, the first thing you need for anime hair is to have a decent length. In general, girls you're probably okay with the length you have, but guys you're going to have to grow it longer than what you're used to. I'd say on average, for both men and women, probably above the shoulders would be safe. You can go shorter or longer depending on your preference.

Once your hair is long enough, you'll need to get it straightened. Regardless of what you think, anime hair needs to be extremely straight, and then tousled around to be given the messy look. Chances are, even if you have straight hair, it still won't be enough. There's something called a Japanese Straight Perm or thermal reconditioning, that involves chemicals, a straightening iron, many hours, and a few manga that you're not afraid to read in public. Basically they put all these chemicals that smell like ass in your hair, and then use a straight iron to flatten it out. This will last around four to six months depending on how fast your hair grows out.

So after that, your mop top has the basic look. Now you could add color if you so choose. You can go with a full blown anime look and dye your hair bright green or blue. But I think that'll make you look like you just got your ass kicked by a Crayola box. It may just be a little too out there. If you do go with an odd color, I'd make it subtle. Like dark green or dark blue. Or else go with shades of blonde and darker, or just add highlights to your original hair color.

And there you go you sexy anime looking beast! You're ready for your next cosplay convention where you'll be the coolest... Well, lets just say you'll fit in perfectly. Who knows, they just might think you're a Japanese celebrity...

Girl in Kagome outfit: "Hehe... excuse me are you Takeshi Kaneshiro? Can I have your autograph?"
You: "Me? Haha... no, sorry. I'm not him."
Girl: "Oh, sorry. I thought you were him. You look just like him with that FABULOUS hair style!"
You: "Haha... thanks. Hey you busy? Can I buy you some sake?"
Girl: "I'm 12."
You: "So is that a yes???"

If this is still flying right over your head and you have no idea what I'm talking about, please reference the poster children for anime hair, Gackt and Ayumi Hamasaki. If their images don't want to make you look ambiguously gay or like an elf woman, then I don't know what will.