Americas blind rage misplaced again

As involvement by the United States abroad drags into it's forth year, United States citizens remain in high alert and in heightened states of fear as many feel the war against terror seemed to have gotten no where. The ever-present fear of retaliatory strikes by the Taliban on U.S. soil are reminded to us everyday by our fear mongering government. It was only a matter of time before violence erupted in response to this percieved threat.

It was this day that witnesses saw Osama Bin Laden taking a stroll down the streets of Miami.

Many witnesses claim that Osama was walking down the street smiling at the people of the city and giving hearty waves to all the onlookers as if nothing was the matter. Reports one eyewitness "He must be preparing another attack.. I think he's gonna hit Sea World" other eyewitnesses report civilians running in fear from Osama. "Osama looked like he didn't have a clue why so many people were running from him" Jeremy Wesson continues "He's mocking us within our own state lines."

Word had gotten out that Osama was dining in a local Burger King at approximately 7pm, it was then that Miami citizens decided to take matters into their own hands despite repeated attempts by the Police to calm fears. Reports chief of Police "Why would Osama Bin Laden be here? It makes no sense." Later that evening it was reported that large groups of vigilantes were entering Burger King establishments searching for Osama.. and they found him eating a Whopper.

The man many claimed was Osama was beaten severely and thrown into a Bus Stop pole which he was also beaten with. They left him for dead, suffering from internal bleeding and lacerations to the neck, head, and shoulders. Common sense should have told the Miami residents that Osama wouldn't be stupid enough to be on United States soil, but they didn't listen.

Americas rage was again blinded.. and it leaves Luciano Pavorotti in a coma this evening.

Luciano Pavorotti a member of the Opera singing sensation The 3-Tenors is lying on the hospital bed in stable but serious condition and all the members of the gang who beat him within an inch of his life are offering their apologies. "Look at him.. he looks like Osama.. how should I have known?" exclaims William Norton, his friend David Hespeler jumps in "He shouldn't have been just sitting their eating his Big Mac.. oh.. I'm sorry I meant Whopper."

Luciano Pavorotti's publicist had no comment and although we poked at Pavorotti with our pen tip and screamed in his ear to respond he didn't have a comment either.

God bless America.. God bless Luciano Pavorotti.