Snack: Japan - The Series
Page 2 of 3

PAGE 1 Snack: Japan - Tamagogani Meisaku  
PAGE 2 Snack: Japan - Sanko Yuki no Yado and Choco in Bar  
PAGE 3 Snack: Japan - Corn Potage and Kuma-Ku Collection  

Sanko Yuki no Yado
Bukkake Crackers

Flavor: 6
Interaction: 2
Honesty/Integrity: 3
Aesthetics: 3
Total Taste: 14

The first thing you think when you look at these oddly designed Rice Crackers is why in the world Yuki, snow in Japanese, would ever be connected to this snack. The first impression, upon looking at the crackers and assuming you couldn’t understand Japanese, is “Wow this looks like a sugary treat cookie!”

It’s not.

It’s not a sugary cookie and it’s most certainly not much of a treat. Sure there are the bunch of you who like the bland little Rice Cracker type things. Sure there are those of you who enjoy a little bukkake splatter on your foodstuff here and there. Sure there might even be those of you who just like to buy whatever snacks have something you can’t read on packaging so you can feel better about your lonely existence. This is something I want to spare you from.

If you want to eat a bland salty (but light!) cracker.. just buy some Rice Crispy's and pour salt on it. For good measure go ahead and jizz on it.

The Rice Cracker is airy and light, a little salty and is topped off with a bit of white frosting. I can tell you now that the icing is leagues too weak to overpower the salty flavor of the cracker. This is a great snack for the kiddies to pack with their lunches, assuming you want to get them angry you didn’t pack them a Twinkie instead. Though there isn’t anything bad about the way this snack tastes, it certainly isn’t special, and it certainly isn’t the best. If you want a salty treat, just stick to chips.

Choco in Bar
Styrofoam

Flavor: 4
Interaction: 2
Honesty/Integrity: 3
Aesthetics: 1
Total Taste: 10

First of all, I want to point out how phallic the design of the packaging is. It looks like a chocolaty wiener jizzing out some chocolaty protein. But for you chocolatephiles that might just be your thing. Prepare for the lie of your lives.

Much like the playa at a bar all the promises made falls quite a bit short from the reality of the situation. The package had claimed a crispy treat coated in a rich milk chocolate and filled with a gooey chocolaty center.

What’s the reality?

The thing, literally tastes like Styrofoam.

The chocolate coating is not so much chocolate as it is brown paint sprayed onto the surface of the Styrofoam rice crisp. The chocolate center is not so much liquid chocolate as it is some other not liquid at all unearthly brown substance that is the furthest from chocolate you could possibly get. If I’ve ever eaten mud the way Nickelodeons Rugrats promised I did at some point of my infant life, I’m fairly sure it tasted better than this.

The entire thing is bland, oh sure it’s crunchy, but so are chips of wood. It’s literally got no taste going for it. If you thought my Total Taste rating solely relied on the whether it tasted good, you would be wrong. You can see those damned baby crabs actually scored higher on my rating than this thing. Why is that? Those baby crabs taste like baby crabs, I may not like the taste, but they didn’t outright lie about the flavors. Choco in Bar? More like Crap in Crap. Don’t even give these guys a second look.

PAGE 1 Snack: Japan - Tamagogani Meisaku  
PAGE 2 Snack: Japan - Sanko Yuki no Yado and Choco in Bar  
PAGE 3 Snack: Japan - Corn Potage and Kuma-Ku Collection