This is the elitist’s “good twin”, this is the kind of happy-go-lucky fan that makes you wish you could punch people in the face over the internet. Like the elitist this fans knows everything about his/her favorite group due to cheer obsession, sadly most of this knowledge is pure useless trivia like knowing product code, release dates, weekly sales and oricon rankings by heart of every stupid release no matter how small.
The puppy loves 99% of everything released by its favorite artist, actually it likes 100% of all the releases but it claims it doesn’t like one of two singles in a ploy to look “fair and balanced” amongst their peers, which of course doesn’t really work and only makes the situation more laughable. What makes the puppy easy to spot in a forum discussion, he/she is the only one that says something positive about the latest noise pollution their artist tries to pass for music nowadays, sadly the puppy said exactly the same thing about the last release.
This fan tends to be so obsessed with the release schedule itself that they don’t necessarily care about the music. They give it only a few listens before refreshing the artists’ official site every 10 minutes for any sign of news of a new single, if that fails they will resort to furiously browsing the mangled blobs of text the Japanese believe constitutes a “web forum”. The puppy doesn’t necessarily KNOW Japanese, but that doesn’t stop them from trying. Whenever the puppy finds any shred of information, usually a word in English that might or might not be a leaked song title, they will immediately post on a web forum and to begin speculation. If it can’t find anything, who cares? They will post anyway and make speculations based on their own fantasies.
Characteristics: Has a huge collection of CDs, all sealed and First Press, which is a must for every fan since it comes with some awesome pictures of the artist whose face you have only seen a million times before and on the cover they are wearing red shirts instead of blue.
Fun Fact: Oh my GOD did you hear about the latest releases from YesAsia?!? You HAVE to buy it from HERE! There's only a limited supply, so you HAVE to get TWO.
THE NOSTALGIC FAN
More of a sub-category, this personality trait is still worth mentioning. A nostalgic fan is the one that truly believes everything used to be much better than now regarding shows and music releases, you can find this trait on the elitist but this type lacks the snobby attitude and the deep useless knowledge. Nostalgic fans still revere bands that have disbanded 5 years ago and start downloading mp3’s from bands that JUST disbanded because they know they will be hot stuff three years from now. Out of all the archetypes the nostalgic ones are the ones least connected to reality since they revolve their fandom based on emotional attachments of the past and pay no attention to how good their favorites bands TRULY were, after all, if they were so good they would still be around, huh?
The nostalgic fan isn’t always about old bands, it’s also about the past history of current groups. Recognizing a nostalgia-fueled fan is easy, just ask what their favorite members are and it will be someone who isn’t in the group anymore, and if you ask what their favorite song is you can bet your whole gravure idol scans collection it will be something released last millennium.
Do nostalgic fans really believe current releases are crap? No, they are just full of crap, wait no more than two years and you will see how they praise this year top hits, “You know, X song is really good and one of the best songs released by artist Y, I can’t believe people used to bash it”…yes, moron, that person was you, I guess your nostalgic brain couldn’t remember that, huh?
Characteristics: Huge SPEED fans who will soon to be huge ZONE fans. Avatars contain members of the first three generations from Morning Musume.
Fun facts: Nostalgia works because people use to only remember the good sides of an era. The 80’s wasn’t all Transformers and He-Man, you know.
THE AZN
A white guy listening to Japanese music is a dork. An Asian guy listening to Japanese music is not. If you think that’s racism it’s because you didn’t hear my joke involving the black guy, the mexican and the rabbi yet
Someone who is Asian can easily get away listening to J-pop even if they are Chinese since Asians are all alike in the round eyes of whities anyway. Your grandparents may hail from Korea, but as long as you yellow skinned people use chopsticks, so it’s a free game right?
Most overseas JPOP fans are of Asian descent or were born in an Asian country. Yes they may usually be huge nerds and will fit at least two other archetypes, but like I said, they can get away with it. ;)
Characteristics: Most Asians do not listen just to J-pop but also to C-pop, K-pop, T-pop, L-pop, D-pop and occasionally Q-pop.
Fun Fact: In average Asians eat 80kg of rice each year. ME LIKE FLIED LICE indeed!
IT'S OVER YOU PATHETIC FOOL!
So there you have it, these are the kind of freaks you will encounter at various online J-pop communities. Some people will be a text-book example of one archetype, while others will be a mix of different ones, but there is no escape! I either completely described you or someone you know even if you won’t admit it.
If you believe I missed a distinct group please drop me a note at , as it is my duty to insult and poke fun of everyone equally. Dr Kas does not discriminate!
Also feel free to send me any flames, you stupid little pansy, maybe you should fill out some long-winded Live Journal entry about how insulted you felt. Maybe I hit too close to home, did I hurt your feelings? Oh boo hoo! Cry me a river you baby.
Part 1: Anime Fanboys/Fangirls and The Pervert
Part 2: The Virgin and the VKer
Part 3: The Gaijin, The Nihonphile, and The Elitist
Part 4: The Puppy, The Nostalgic Fan, The AZN, and the Conclusion
