The Wisdom of Jpop PVs: Part III

Watching lots of Japanese music videos is an excellent way to educate yourself in the ways of continued existence in life. Every day, Some massively numerized part of humanity dies. They die for many reasons, but one of the main ones is failure to pay attention to the lessons of Jpop PVs.

From exactly 3 week ago on, whenever I feel like it, which so far is "on most Mondays," I will help you interpret these lessons, so that you may continue to exist.

Today's Lesson: Utada Hikaru's Guide to Government

The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli is one of those books I've always planned to read, but so far, haven't.

I'll get to it eventually. Based on what I've heard, The Prince is a book of instructions for rulers on how to gain rule, how to rule, and how to keep the rule they have.

Utada Hikaru has found a solution to this same problem so simple that it doesn't even need a book to explain it: Decorative Head-Bags.

As you will see, the PV of Passion demonstrates the concept of effective leadership by decorative head bags with masterful concision.

When the video begins, we observe the journey of an animated fairy on her way to assassinate Queen Utada and take control of her land.

This land is not named, so I will refer to it as The Kingdom of Hallway.

As we can see, when Animated Fairy reaches her target, she changes her mind. We don't see her again.

All we know for certain is that her objective is not carried out.

Why not?

Animated Fairy sees that Kingdom of Hallway is populated by mysterious drummers with decorative head-bags.

They are skilled musicians, but what else are they? Demons? Ninjas? Other animated fairies?

Challenging an enemy so unknown is simply not worth the risk.

As further deterent to invaders, Queen Utada calmy paces her small kingdom wearing a dress of near infinite unmaneuverability. Any enemy who sees this logic-defying vestment will be forced to conclude that its owner is absolutely confident of her own safety.

Besides being decorative and threateningly deceptive, the head-bags serve a third and possibly most important purpose.

They make every citizen of The Kingdom of Hallway effectively blind.

Would you try to overthrow a leader you can't see? No. You wouldn't.

We are later introduced to another group of head-bag wearers who dance instead of play drums. Are they the Queen's elite demonic ninja fairy secret service? Are they just dancers? Who knows. They're scary.

So, in summary, Utada's position of power is 100% protected both by and from her subjects, all thanks to decorative head-bags.

The final scene depicts yet another invading army on horseback.

Utada walks right past them, giving no hint of worry, despite the fact that most of them are invisible.

She knows what will happen next.