Learn Japanese 10 Phrases at a Time!

Japanese the wonderful language from that far off place we all want to visit. Lessons in school just won’t cut it, all that crap is far too traditional and far too proper. Lessons from school simply don’t resonate with today’s crowd, and it’s up to me to force upon you the bags of wisdom I hold. I will share with you a situation which may arise during your trip in Japan, then a phrase in Japanese, and it’s English translation. Using my rote memorization techniques you will become the next ambassador to Japan. Ganbatte!

Situation #1: In your excitement you’ve just eaten out a Japanese hooker and are regretting your decision.
Japanese Phrase to use: Omizuwo kudasai.
Translated: Please give me water.

Situation #2: What to say to the hooker you’ve just made feel really awkward by rinsing out your mouth.
Japanese Phrase to use: Oishii!
Translated: Delicious!

Situation #3: What to say to the hooker after you’re done with her and she’s reached the front door.
Japanese Phrase to use: Ganbatte!
Translated: Good Luck!

Situation #4: You want to find out what Willis is talking about.
Japanese Phrase to use: Nani itteruno Willis?
Translated: Whatchoo talkin’ ‘bout Willis?

Situation #5: Waking up after a particularly hard bender from a night in Roppongi.
Japanese Phrase to use: Kyo wa nan-nichi desuka?
Translated: What day of the month is this?

Situation #6: What to say to that hooker you’ve decided to get for another day.
Japanese Phrase to use: Okaeri-nasai.
Translated: Welcome back.

Situation #7: What to say when you need help dragging that dead body to the river.
Japanese Phrase to use: Tetsudatte kudasai.
Translated: Can you help me?

Situation #8: How often do you masturbate?
Japanese Phrase to use: Mainichi.
Translated: Every day.

Situation #9: What to do if you’re Jack Bauer and you’re trying to handle a hostage situation in Japan.
Japanese Phrase to use: Yuyo ni nasai.
Translated: Do as I tell you.

Situation #10: What to say to your friend when you find out your girlfriend is actually a transvestite.
Japanese Phrase to use: Damatte inasai.
Translated: Don’t say a word.